Founder

What comes to your mind when someone says ’be a man’? For me, it means, hold the emotions in, don’t cry, don’t show you are extremely happy or sad, be strong even when the situation is severe, stand alone, you don’t a need a hug, ‘real’ men don’t cry; oh, I could go on, but I am sure you get my point. Where did this command come from? We are unconsciously using this statement and other unhealthy parenting styles to raise emotionally unavailable men. There must be a change.

The number of boys and young adults from African decent involved in crime and who become abusers in their relationships is on the increase. Most boys causing problems in the community need specialist support and we intend to go back to the root cause of their behavioural issues and start dealing with it from there, the home. If boys can interact with community leaders/pace setters who can function as mentors to guide them in the right path and learn from their mistakes, it will improve community cohesion and reduce crime in all its form. Communities are only as valuable as the people in it. There are a lot of services for young girls and women, but very few for boys and men.

No one grows up and suddenly becomes an abuser, murderer, a gang member, a chauvinist, and every negative stereotype that African men are known for. The male child needs to be brought up with the same love, attention, and affection as the female child. Not being able to receive love and give love is a result of an unhealthy upbringing or sometimes, peer pressure.  It is time to change the negative narratives and break the cycles of how a boy should be raised. We need to start telling our sons that it is okay to be loving, caring, emotionally expressive, cry, speak out when experiencing abuse, and that expressing these emotions will not reduce their masculinity. It is time to raise leaders and not just providers.

The idea of a ‘real man’ in the African context is mostly one who is chauvinistic. Our activities aim to redefine boys roles in the home and community to change the idea that if they are providers any disruptive behavioural issue(s) can be overlooked. It will also promote the idea that ‘real men’ can be domesticated, loving, caring, sympathetic, and express love/emotions in the communities they find themselves. To the men and parents who think it is too late, no it isn’t, there is also help for you. It is time to truly raise boys to become ‘real’ men. Our communities need you.

Omonor Gladys – Founder and Director